My coursemate

Yesterday night I received a call from my coursemate when I was with my friends having my dinner at market hawker stall. I was so shocked to hear the news that one of my coursemates had passed away suddenly.

I felt so sorry to hear that. Reason being I just saw her last 2 weeks in KL, when I was having coursemates gathering at KLCC. I was told that she came to KLCC to watch movie herself and she do this quite frequently. I was wondering why she do things alone without any companion from her friends?

Some background story telling, her body shape is quite fat and round (forgive me for being so direct as I dunno what other words can replace). Because of this, behind her, I was calling her 波波 (BoBo) as she looks like a ball. To be frank, I was not so close with her during my time at Sabah, and when ppl referring to her, I have no idea when they were using her name. Hence, I named her that way to ease me for reference.

My source told me that she had a disease (unknown to us), which she knew that when her time in Sabah. Again, because of this disease, it caused her to be in that shape. Besides, during the time, she was admitted to hospital few times during her study period. I totally have no idea bout that. I felt so sorry for not concerning my coursemate, plus calling her with that nickname. If I knew this earlier, I wont called her such way. In fact, I will convey my wishes and concern to her.

Concluding from this, I finally understood why she was watching movie alone. My guess was, she knew she have to fully utilize her time and not wasting it. Though watching movie is not any beneficial thing but still, as long as she gain her satisfaction over that and happy with it.

She just worked nearby my office and past two weeks I had promised to date her for lunch when I was free. But now, I would not have the chance to meet her in future not even to say have a lunch with her. I was impressed by her strong will to stay alive and continues her live happily. Knowing herself troubled by the disease, she still determined to finish her degree, to seek for employment etc.

I cant imagine how her parents feel. Were they prepared for this long time ago? I have no idea. 3 of my coursemates are heading towards to attend her funeral. Hope her parents can recover soon from her death. As I need to work tomorrow, I really cannot attend her funeral.

Basically, there were few reasons which I feel so sorry:
1. I have no concern over her during our Sabah time. (even her absence time?)
2. I din understand her family background at all. (I only knew that she is from Kedah when I intended to attend her funeral but its really to far)
3. From above, I cant attend to her funeral.
4. I have no chance to fulfill my promise to her which is date her and have a lunch at least?
5. I din really have a photo with her alone.

Im listening to Lim Fung’s song when im writing this post which is “爱在记忆中找你” And there is one lyric part which brings out all my sadness, which is we will only can find you in our memories. I dun wish this. I hope I can see you face to face. I wish we still can chat on our life in Sabah, chat about our Prof Zai, chat about how we survive during our FYP period?

Everything in memories for now…

(right side)

My FM

这一次我又写华语的部落格， 但是别担心，这次绝不是因为气愤或伤心。

很难得今天我能够在还未天黑前就离开公司。想到应该能够7点之前就回到我的安乐窝。很可惜就因为一个错误的决定，我用了1小时40分才会到家。 就觉得好像浪费了我的时间。 为什么我要选择走mrr2呢？除了在jalan ampang 塞了一段路，mrr2也在同一天发生车祸，导致大塞车。 我一个人呆在车里无聊得很。

就在将要到达的时候，我听到了myfm猜歌名的环节。无聊的我，就只好发送sms去myfm参加环节。那一首歌，我很清楚我是懂得的。为什么只是区区的一小段音乐， 我都能那么肯定的是我心中的那一首歌？就因为我唱k时，它是我必唱的一首歌。

很可惜，我却忘了歌名。印象中它仿佛是张智霖的祝君好。犹豫了一会儿，我终于发送出去了。paiseh 的是，我竟然忘记了chilam的华语名，我还特地拨电话给我的朋友确认他的名字。满心欢喜的，等待答案，还有等他说出我的名字猜对了。因为就要到达，恐怕等不及答案就要下车了，还准备了耳机，打算用手机聆听myfm.

很快的，myfm要公布答案，当中我知道我的答案错了，一直担心着我的名字将会宣读出来。但是我知道大家都在指同一首歌，因为大家的答案都蛮接近的。幸亏我的名字没有读出来，要不然我就paiseh了。 哈哈。

到底答案是哪一首歌呢？

它就是：” chilam 的 相爱无梦“

以后一定要记住歌名了。。。。=（

Stress Out!!!!!

As it is a quarter end now, lots of reporting stuff are coming in and everything flows into my team's job scope. A small team comprising of 2 slaves, have to handle all the reporting and ad-hoc analyzes.

A newbie like me, be with the company for half a year, is currently dealing directly with chiefs and regional office. However, me,myself has no enough confidence in meeting their requirements or answer their questions.

The most detail and full pack will be the quarterly reporting. This is my second time involved in this kind of reporting. Even my first submission for last quarter needs alot of amendments and changes plus additional slides from my AM, but now i have to handle myself. Why?

1. My AM (previously senior) is taking study leave for two weeks. She is the one who knows the business damn well and guided me throughout the time.


2. Another AM also taking study leave, though she is not engaged with my current work but at least i can ask for her advices when nobody around.

3. My boss have to go for a business trip and before he goes, i have to settle this report two weeks earlier before the deadline which means i have few days left for it. (Nothing started as at now.)

Some of my friends know that, recently i am so busy and working overtime everyday and weekends. Without so, i cant even finish some other ad-hoc stuffs. Coupled with weekly reporting and monthly reporting, i am so suffocating!!!

When things and results turn out to be not matching, i was frustrated and my mind jammed. No one helps. No one listens. Rarely have enough sleep nowadays, even i slept, i still dreamed of my working tasks, all the numbers, initiatives, projection, analysis bla bla bla...

I love the feel of speeding now. When im driving alone without anyone talking to me, my mind will automatically connecting my 'office's server'. I just need a feel of release by speeding and opening loud music inside the car. Hope by doing so, i can just concentrate in my driving without other distractions.

Hope that i can complete the things before deadline. Im half-prepared to be scolded for this round. Haiz!!!